I wrote this poem a few years ago to promote my book, The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35. I forgot all about it until I found it today tucked away in a file. Upon reading it, it is pretty clear to me that the insanity of our 20s and 30s is timeless. Not much has changed since I first wrote it. I’m sure many new women out there are going through these same experiences. So, I think it is worth posting. I hope you find it entertaining.
The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35
At 22 you’re a New Graduate, faxing and filing
While dating a guy who can’t stop drunk-dialing.
You begin to wonder if college was simply a waste,
Long gone are the idealistic dreams that you chased.
(…for now, anyway!)
Next you’re a Dollarless Diva with no cash in sight,
Eating peanuts off the bar when you go out at night.
You’re dating a guy just for the free meals,
And searching the clearance rack for any good deals.
(…that you buy on credit!)
By 25, you dive into your career and become the Worker Bee,
Taking on bigger projects and working overtime for free.
Your sights are set higher than the cubicle you’re in,
And you run yourself ragged, determined to win.
(Will showing some leg help?)
Your hard work pays off. You’ve proven your name,
And for a while your life becomes a fabulous game.
You’re the Party Girl, feather boa and all,
You can walk in heels after three martinis and not even fall.
(Okay, most of the time)
Around 28, you realize the alcohol is making you chubby,
You start feeling disgusting and tired and grubby.
You become the Body Conscious Babe and hit the gym hard,
Determined to lose every last inch of lard.
(Come on, it’s not that bad!)
Once you’re in shape, and you’re feeling great,
Around 30 you meet a guy you actually want to date.
He likes hiking, so you take it up too,
You’re a Chameleon, becoming like him to make him love you.
(…but not for long!)
A year or so later, you realize you feel a bit strange.
This guy just isn’t The One, but it’s so tough to change.
Your job gets you down and you’re not satisfied with your life
You’re in Crisis Chick mode and nothing at all seems quite right
(Bring on the chocolate and naps!)
Around 32, you pull through, and after a final good cry,
You switch jobs, change your wardrobe and ditch the lame guy.
You figure out a path in order to make it on your own
And become Miss Independence, forging ahead alone.
(Going it solo in style!)
But one day you’re putting on your makeup under bright lights in the loo,
And you notice a wrinkle staring right back at you.
It must be the lighting– it just can’t be real,
Or maybe, you realize, you’re not as young as you feel.
You’re a little confused—you’re no longer a girl,
But you’re not yet a women, and that makes you a “Wirl”
You’re caught between the two with your age starting to show,
But you’re not old just yet! You’ve got many years left to go!
(At least sixty or so!)
You think back over your life, and all you’ve been through,
It seems like there’s been three or four or ten different yous.
You wonder how you survived each and every phase,
Enduring crazy-fun nights and exhausting work days.
But you’ve learned patience, and hard work, and walking in heels,
And turning 25 or 35 is not as bad as it feels,
You see that your life is a constantly changing commotion,
Full of challenges, fun times, and lots of emotion!
So the next time life sucks and your boyfriend’s an ass,
Remember that surely this stage too shall pass.
You’ll make it through the tough times and gracefully survive,
“The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35.”
(the new book by Alison James!).
The best days lie ahead, you’re now the True You!
Get busy living, there’s so much to do.
Make every new day what you want it to be.
The future is yours. Only you hold the key!
Make a wish for your future! Send this to ten women in your life who need a laugh today!
Copyright © 2009 Alison James