Welcome visitor!      Log in     Profile       Subscribe to The Official Site of Author, Humorist and TV Personality Alison JamesNews Feed

Some of the Greatest Lessons I’ve Learned in Life Have Come from Office PowerPoint Presentations

March 6, 2010 by Alison  
Filed under Alison's Blog, Career, Featured Posts

If you don’t work in an office setting and you’ve never received a 30-page PowerPoint presentation outlining someone’s latest and greatest new business idea, you might not appreciate this post. 

Everyone else will understand what I mean when I say some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in life…or should I say “insights I’ve gained”…have come from PowerPoint presentations that my coworkers have given. 

PowerPoint presentations teach us that:

  • Even the most dumbass idea looks intelligent if you present it with colorful charts and graphs.  
  •  

  • It is actually possible to say the exact same thing three hundred and fifty different ways.
  •  

  • If you don’t have anything worthwhile to say, you can cover it up by telling meaningless stories.  It will take people a while to figure out that you aren’t really making any point.
  •  

  • Use big words if you want to hide the fact that you’re dumb as shit.  Throw into the discussion phrases like “synergy savings” “best practices” and “core competencies.”
  •  

  • Men are like children — If you want them to pay attention, you have to present information with music and colorful animation. 
  •  

  • Encourage people to express their opinions.  Once they get going, you can tune out and think about your plans for the weekend.
  •  

  • Almost every really good idea can be summed up in two sentences.  If it takes longer than that to explain, someone is trying to pull one over on you.