Many people are out of work because they live in an area where there aren’t enough jobs to go around. But some people are out of work for another reason – they scare the crap out of prospective employers.
Friends of mine who have done some hiring at different companies shared with me horror stories about the resumes they’ve received and the scary candidates that they’ve met.
Based on these stories, I would like to offer a few job search tips. Please pass these tips along to your flakiest friends, email them to your clueless neighbor, and share them with that unemployed guy your roommate is dating who has been living in your apartment for six months.
Get the word out to everyone. If you want to get a job, there are some things you simply should not do, for example:
* Spell the name of the company wrong that you are applying to work for — or spell anything wrong for that matter. For god’s sake, have someone check your resume over before you send it out the door!
* Explain gaps in your employment history with bizarre details about your personal life like “Had female issues” or “Broke up with my boss and therefore had to quit.”
* Stroll into an interview fifteen minutes late and tell the prospective employer that you got sidetracked because there was “a big sale going on at the store across the street.”
* Show up to an interview wearing giant sunglasses and never take them off the entire time.
* Stink like you’ve never stunk before. Before meeting your prospective boss, work up some good B.O.
* Talk about really depressing things so that by the time you leave, the person interviewing you wants to jump off a cliff.
* Tell the prospective employer that your “biggest flaw” is that you really hate working.
* Bring a sandwich wrapped in tinfoil to the interview and start eating it halfway through.
* Take a cell phone call during the interview and finish making your Friday night plans with your friend while the interviewer waits patiently.
* Tell the prospective employer that the reason you want to work for their company is because you are totally desperate and right about now even a crappy job will do.
If you are doing any of these things, it’s time to reevaluate your job search approach. Fix up your resume, practice interviewing, and make a firm commitment to personal hygiene. These three small changes will dramatically increase your chances of getting a job and help you avoid earning the title of “Job Candidate from Hell.”
Copyright © 2010 Alison James