Unless you’re one of those naturally skinny chicks out there, you inevitably have ups and downs with your weight like I do. And like me, you know when you’re headed down the road to chubby land – your jeans get tighter, your shirts seem smaller and your bra feels like a tourniquet constricting blood flow to your upper body. These signs are quite common but there are others that catch us by surprise. Sometimes life screams “Hey fatty” in a way that catches us off guard and sends us scurrying to the gym.
One of these moments happened to me a few days ago. I was washing my hands in a public restroom when I leaned over the sink and something horrific happened – my butt triggered the automatic paper towel dispenser. Yes, somehow that thing detected motion coming from below and spit towels my way. At first I thought “Why do they have that thing so close to the sink?” but then another woman came out of the stall, washed her hands, and nothing happened. The dispenser lied motionless while she stood near it.
You know it’s time to pack away your skinny clothes, and drag out the black pants and baggy shirts when your butt starts triggering automatic devices. My new rule: if the neighbor’s garage door opens when I walk outside in shorts, I know I’ve got a problem on my hands. Copyright © 2009 Alison James