The Official Site of Author, Humorist and TV Personality Alison James » Health

Study Reveals that Women Find Different Men Attractive Depending on Where They Are in Their Menstrual Cycle

Alison — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 00:30:38 +0000

You might be familiar with the study that revealed that women who are ovulating prefer men with masculine, rugged features. Whereas, women who are at other points in their cycle do not show the same preference. Here is a link to an article about this study in case you haven’t seen it:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18077810/wid/11915773?GT1=9303

I really wish I could take credit for the alternative take on this study that I came across this week:

A study revealed the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

If she’s ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged & masculine features.

If she’s menstruating or menopausal, she’s more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth & a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Is Obama’s Package Way Too Big?

Alison — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 15:03:18 +0000

Ladies, we all know that size matters. When a package is too small, we shudder when we see it knowing that it won’t have much force, it can’t get much done and ultimately it won’t satisfy us.

But isn’t the same true when a man’s package is too big? Whether you like a guy or not, and whether you agree with him and think he’s cool or not, when he presents you with a giant package, I mean an extraordinarily large, enormous package, isn’t that just as scary as a tiny one?

If a man’s package is too big, we have to be afraid of what it can do. We have to worry that it is going to hurt us even if that’s not what he intended. When a package is gigantic, it often has too much force and unintended consequences.

When I saw that the Health Care Bill Congress just passed was thousands of pages long, I immediately thought “It’s so long, thick and complex that we won’t truly know what it means for us or how it will affect our country for years to come, and no one in Congress probably really knows either.” And that notion scares me a bit. When a package is that big, it just seems like a guy should take it slow. You know, ease into it.

How to Diagnose Your Own Exotic, Deadly Disease

Alison — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 22:26:08 +0000

Flu season is here and everywhere you turn, you’ll find information on how to keep yourself safe from the new diseases and suspicious germs floating around out there. But if you end up being one of the unlucky people that gets sick anyway, don’t assume a swig of Nyquil will do the trick. Do your research online. The internet provides a host of valuable information that can help you determine what rare disease you have without ever setting foot in a doctor’s office.

For example, does your body ache? You might have the flu, but have you considered the possibility that you could be suffering from the Ebola virus or Rat Bite Fever? Are you covered in a rash? It might be an allergic reaction to the new lotion you purchased, but if you look online, you’ll find that it could just as easily be a case of Smallpox or the onset of River Blindness.

Whatever symptoms you have, remember to remain calm while you do your internet homework. Sudden movements can put unnecessary strain on Elephantitis-ridden limbs.

We all need to be aware of what our body is telling us. And it’s easy to do thanks to all of the medical websites out there. Just turn on your computer, pull up a symptom checker database, and a few clicks later you’ll know if your drippy nose is about to turn deadly. Copyright © 2009 Alison James

List of Common Symptoms Courtesy of Emedtv.com