Does your mother get all of her information from email forwards? Does she stay up at night worrying about missing children who aren’t actually missing, or cologne that can be used by criminals to knock people out in parking lots just because she read about these things in emails from her friends?
Has she replaced whatever notion of U.S. history she learned in school with information she pieced together from emails forwarded to her by people you only know as snookie3522@aol and grammylove2000@hotmail?
If so, you are probably distraught by your mom’s bizarre information sources, but don’t worry. You can stop her from being indoctrinated further by spam in one easy step: Just tell her that every time she opens an email forward, a random stranger at an offshore bank can access her credit card information and take a picture of her. Make sure she knows that this invasion of her privacy can happen even if the email comes from her very best friend.
Before you know it, she won’t be spamming anyone anymore, including you.
I recently heard a woman announce to the world “We are pregnant!” and I was a little confused. I distinctly remember learning about reproduction in high school biology class and the idea of a man being pregnant never came up even once. I’m pretty sure that unless something has changed, the state of two people being pregnant together in some weird fusion of reproductive organs is technically not possible.
I asked my friend why couples these days say “We are pregnant” and she shed a little light on the situation for me. She said that couples make a deliberate attempt to use this terminology so the guy doesn’t feel excluded from the pregnancy process. And I guess that explanation sort of makes sense. I can see how the “we” terminology might help the guy accept the pregnancy situation without going off the deep end. For example, instead of thinking “My wife is getting fatter and has permanent PMS and it is all my fault,” he thinks “My wife and I are pregnant together! This is so exciting and fun!”
But I remain baffled by the notion that a woman would voluntarily give away even an ounce of credit for enduring a complex, harrowing nine months of her life. The way I see it, “we” might have conceived a baby, but until the man has raging hormones, a live being growing inside of him, and plans to pass a watermelon through a tiny crevice in his body, “we” are definitely not pregnant in any way, shape or form and “we” never will be.
Nevertheless, it is in vogue today to say “we are pregnant” so I don’t see this terminology going anywhere. When someone says “we are pregnant” on television, only about half of the people in the room look confused and the other half accept the comment as a normal way to speak about the state of female pregnancy.
But I think the other half would jump on board too if the term “we” was applied in a more fair and consistent way. For example, if couples are going to say “we” are pregnant, shouldn’t they also say “we” worked until midnight last night, “we” got promoted, and “we” got a huge year-end bonus? If a man is going to take credit when a woman successfully carries and delivers a baby, shouldn’t a woman take credit when he successfully endures a hellish nine months at the office? Just a little food for thought.
I know one thing, I just talked to my guy and learned that “we” won quite a bit of money playing poker last night. I can definitely get used to this “we” thing. Copyright © 2010 Alison James
Do you remember dressing up as a princess as a little girl, donning the pink frilly dress and the jeweled tiara for Halloween or a birthday party? We all went through a “princess phase,” although it wasn’t really a phase because we never completely outgrew it. Even as adults, we dream about meeting a handsome prince, being rescued from the hellish dating scene, and living happily ever after in a modern castle with an in ground pool instead of a moat.
But, as you know, real life doesn’t always work out that way. Men don’t always exhibit the most prince-like behavior. Sometimes we have to fend off the dragon and clean the castle by ourselves, and find our own way out of the tower. Men are kind of clueless when it comes to creating the perfect fairy tale romance and we often wonder why.
Well, I think I’ve discovered the origin of the problem. I went to the store over the weekend and this is what I found:
The suggested theme for a little girl’s party:
The suggested theme for a little boy’s party – not a “Prince” party as we might think – but instead we have this:
We get a pretty lacy outfit, a magic wand, and a tiara. The boys get rope, an eye patch, and an inflatable sword. It sort of explains why we spend our lives in search of the perfect fairy tale romance and men spend theirs in an endless search for booty. Copyright © 2009 Alison James