Do Couples Who Announce “We Are Pregnant” Know Something I Don’t Know?

I recently heard a woman announce to the world “We are pregnant!” and I was a little confused.  I distinctly remember learning about reproduction in high school biology class and the idea of a man being pregnant never came up even once.  I’m pretty sure that unless something has changed, the state of two people being pregnant together in some weird fusion of reproductive organs is technically not possible.

I asked my friend why couples these days say “We are pregnant” and she shed a little light on the situation for me.  She said that couples make a deliberate attempt to use this terminology so the guy doesn’t feel excluded from the pregnancy process.  And I guess that explanation sort of makes sense.  I can see how the “we” terminology might help the guy accept the pregnancy situation without going off the deep end.  For example, instead of thinking “My wife is getting fatter and has permanent PMS and it is all my fault,” he thinks “My wife and I are pregnant together!  This is so exciting and fun!”

But I remain baffled by the notion that a woman would voluntarily give away even an ounce of credit for enduring a complex, harrowing nine months of her life.  The way I see it, “we” might have conceived a baby, but until the man has raging hormones, a live being growing inside of him, and plans to pass a watermelon through a tiny crevice in his body, “we” are definitely not pregnant in any way, shape or form and “we” never will be.

Nevertheless, it is in vogue today to say “we are pregnant” so I don’t see this terminology going anywhere.  When someone says “we are pregnant” on television, only about half of the people in the room look confused and the other half accept the comment as a normal way to speak about the state of female pregnancy.

But I think the other half would jump on board too if the term “we” was applied in a more fair and consistent way.  For example, if couples are going to say “we” are pregnant, shouldn’t they also say “we” worked until midnight last night, “we” got promoted, and “we” got a huge year-end bonus?  If a man is going to take credit when a woman successfully carries and delivers a baby, shouldn’t a woman take credit when he successfully endures a hellish nine months at the office?  Just a little food for thought.

I know one thing, I just talked to my guy and learned that “we” won quite a bit of money playing poker last night.  I can definitely get used to this “we” thing.  Copyright © 2010 Alison James

How to Make a Bed: A Visual Guide for Men

Many women complain that the guy in their life never makes the bed or cleans up after himself.  They say things like “He doesn’t do a thing to help out around the house” or “He’s such a slob” or “He doesn’t even notice when our apartment is a mess.”  But let’s give men the benefit of the doubt for a minute.  Maybe they want to make the bed in the morning but they don’t do it because they simply don’t know how.  

This blog post is a special treat for all the men out there.  A visual guide that you can follow the next time you see those sheets and pillows in disarray:
 

Some Questions Aren’t Meant to Be Answered Honestly

Honesty is the best policy…most of the time.  But when you get into an elevator and a coworker asks “How are you?” you know you aren’t supposed to launch into a story about your mysterious itchy rash or dysfunctional relationship.  It is widely understood by almost everyone that the question, “How are you?” is not meant to be answered honestly. 

Unfortunately, other questions are a little more ambiguous, so sometimes people respond with the truth.  And the truth can be pretty darn creepy.  Whenever I hear someone ask “Why are you so tired today?  Did you have a late night?” or “Isn’t her baby just the cutest thing?” or “How is your husband doing?” I have to cringe because there is a decent chance the conversation is about to take a turn for the worse.  I’m just waiting for the person to answer “I’m tired because my boyfriend and I were up late, you know, doing stuff….” or “The baby is actually kind of hideous.  Poor kid looks just like the father, doesn’t it?”     

Recently, I overheard a woman in an elevator ask another woman a question that should be barred from public conversation:  “Why are your lips so chapped?”  Would you ever really want to know why someone’s lips are chapped?  Aren’t there a million reasons why someone’s lips could be chapped that fall into the “holy shit that’s weird” category? 

We ask each other questions all the time without even thinking about the potential social disaster that awaits us.  Most of the time, the other person gives us a mundane, typical answer without revealing much about their life.  But every once in a while, we get an answer that is weirder than we bargained for.  Copyright 2010 © Alison James.