What is so Fun About “Fun Size” Candy Bars?

Drag out your giant bags of Halloween candy, if you still have any left, and check out the packaging.  Do any of the bags you purchased say “Fun Size!” on the front?  Does anyone have any idea what this term means?  What is so darn fun about “Fun Size” candy bars?

We all know from experience that it’s certainly not fun when you have to unwrap 25 of those tiny little suckers to feel even remotely satisfied.  They are so small, that if you sip water with them, they slip down your throat like a vitamin. 

There is nothing fun about trying to shove all of those wrappers in your pocket at a party so people don’t notice you’ve been eating fun size candy bars all night. 

It is definitely not fun when someone eats all the good ones and you get stuck digging through a giant bowl of Charleston Chews trying to find the one Kit Kat they missed on the bottom. 

And there couldn’t be anything less “fun” than watching someone eat just one and walk away.  Meanwhile, the rest of us stand near the bowl like junkies saying “I’m just going to have one more Reese’s peanut butter cup…seriously, I really mean it this time.”

It’s tough to figure out what the candy marketers were thinking when they decided to call these menacing little treats “Fun Size.”  A fun size candy bar to me would be one too big to fit in the front seat of my car.    Copyright © 2009 Alison James

Friendships that Feel Like Jury Duty

We all have friends we love, people we can spend hours with and never get bored. These are the friends we can call when we’re miserable and we never feel like they are secretly happy we’re suffering. But there are other friends we keep in touch with and we’re not sure why. At one time we went to school with them, or we knew them at our last job, or we met them a few times through an old roommate. Now, years later, they check in all the time via email or Facebook, sending photos and updates about their exciting life.

We’re fine with their occasional contact, as long as it remains occasional. But what do you do when these people cross the line, when they try to take the friendship “to the next level” and they want to start hanging out again? And what do you do if you never really liked them much in the first place? Do you just ignore them entirely? Do you hang out with them out of guilt, laying yourself up on the altar as a social sacrifice?

Most practices instituted by the U.S. government would not work in other areas of our lives, but a civic responsibility provides the perfect solution to this uncomfortable social situation. If hanging out with someone feels like jury duty, why not treat it as such?

Picture this: you go to lunch with your long-lost buddy, you grin and bear the small talk for about forty-five minutes, and then when you’re done, you get a stamped piece of paper guaranteeing that you will not have to do it again for at least two years, possibly even four. You’ve done your duty, you didn’t offend anyone or burn any bridges, and now you’re off the hook for awhile! And if you’re lucky, you might be able to move out of state before the term expires.

Just think of how great it would when they email you the next day to find out if you can go to lunch again soon and you have a certified piece of paper to get you out of it. You don’t have to invent excuses, lie about how busy you are at work or how sick you’ve been. You just read off the number on your form, letting them know that you have another 24 months before you have to meet them back at Pita Heaven.   Copyright 2009 © Alison James.

How to Diagnose Your Own Exotic, Deadly Disease

Flu season is here and everywhere you turn, you’ll find information on how to keep yourself safe from the new diseases and suspicious germs floating around out there.  But if you end up being one of the unlucky people that gets sick anyway, don’t assume a swig of Nyquil will do the trick.  Do your research online.  The internet provides a host of valuable information that can help you determine what rare disease you have without ever setting foot in a doctor’s office.

For example, does your body ache? You might have the flu, but have you considered the possibility that you could be suffering from the Ebola virus or Rat Bite Fever?  Are you covered in a rash?  It might be an allergic reaction to the new lotion you purchased, but if you look online, you’ll find that it could just as easily be a case of Smallpox or the onset of River Blindness.

Whatever symptoms you have, remember to remain calm while you do your internet homework.  Sudden movements can put unnecessary strain on Elephantitis-ridden limbs.

We all need to be aware of what our body is telling us.  And it’s easy to do thanks to all of the medical websites out there.  Just turn on your computer, pull up a symptom checker database, and a few clicks later you’ll know if your drippy nose is about to turn deadly. Copyright © 2009 Alison James

List of Common Symptoms Courtesy of Emedtv.com